Crying Jag

I must apologize for being so absent in the month of January. Christmas was tough on me and I've been completely exhausted. I'm seriously thinking that something more is wrong with me, because I just can't get up in the morning... but I can't sleep at night. I must make an appointment with my GP, but I'm so tired of doctors at this point. Besides, my doctor is over an hour from me and I hate being that person who walks in with three or four ailments. *sigh* Getting time off of work is a pain too - if you have a job where you can just call in sick and forget about it, be grateful. I know that I chose to be a teacher, but honestly, the fact that I can be puking my guts out and still have to prepare for the day before I can call it a sick day is ridiculous! Next year I vow to have "just in case" sub plans ready... so that I don't have to do that.

Anyway, I've been tired and feeling gross all month, and I'm not so sure that the medroxy is working. I've had normalish periods (28 days yes, but not as heavy as I would have expected). So I'm not sure it's clearing me out. I just wish she would have done a D&C first before the medroxy... but I wait patiently until mid-March to find out if it's working or not. again *sigh*

Finally ... I've been crying most of the day. I got some pretty hard news related to family. I'm not going to get into it right now because if I do, I'll just end up crying again. I don't want to deal with it, but I have to. Basically I'm sad and I don't know how to deal. *sigh*

How do you deal with all of your IF issues? Lately I've been having a real problem with it. If anyone brings up babies or pregnancy I get depressed - almost immediately. I've been crying so much. I'm losing a LOT of hope and I don't know how to deal anymore. I think it might be time for a therapist.... but that doctor thing that I mentioned earlier - yeah that goes for a therapist too - closest are an hour away and getting time off... well it's really tough.

BIG SIGH.