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Monday, 9 July 2012

Mother-in-Law

So this is a vent post... you've been warned.

First of all, let me say that I do really love my in-laws.  I get along great with them.  They are really wonderful people and I don't cringe about going to their house or having them come over... but sometimes, my mother-in-law drives me crazy!

She is a neat freak.  By that I don't mean that she keeps a clean house, I mean that everything needs to be spotless.  How she raised my husband (who is a major slob most of the time) is beyond me!  Let me give you an example... she won't let us walk around in bare feet on her hardwood floor because it leaves footprints.  The woman must have Xray heat vision or something, because nobody else can see those foot prints.  I really hope that she gets to enjoy the fun of a grandchild at some point so that she can go completely crazy, because I guarantee that any child who comes from me will refuse to wear socks. lol.

Anyway, my in-laws are very generous.  I have probably mentioned before, but they have too much money... the type of wealth that has them looking for new things to do around the house because the money is burning a hole in their pockets. Recently their dishwasher quit on them, so they bought a new one - a nice stainless steel one.  So, naturally, that meant that they needed to replace the rest of their appliances so that they are all new and stainless.  They offered us their 4 year old flat-top stove.  Naturally we jumped at it.  Then they decided that they would get a new washer and dryer to match the rest of the appliances.  So they offered us their "old" ones (again these are about 6 years old).  The washer/dryer that we have came with our house and it is identical to the ones that my mother had in our mobile home growing up - they were new in 1983.  So I was quick to say YES to the much newer front loading washer and much better dryer!  We brought them out a couple of weeks ago, but waited to install them until yesterday when the father-in-law could come and help to get it set up properly.  Apparently you need to make sure that those front loaders are completely level or they don't work right.

So the in-laws came out yesterday.

First of all, they say that they are going to be there shortly after lunch.  They call when they were about half an hour away, at 10 am, and ask "oh, did we wake you?".  No!  I've been awake since 6 am... puppy remember??  Then they inform me that they are half an hour away.  Great!  We were about 90 minutes away from finished cleaning up.  So it resulted in a massive quick sweep of the place and pushing stuff under beds, etc.  I had no intention of cleaning the bedroom, but my husband decided that he needed his dad to also install the ceiling fan that we had purchased - last summer!  So that needed cleaning too.

Now, I'm not the worst house-keeper in the world, but I'm not a neat freak.  I don't care if there are dishes in the kitchen - hell I don't care if there is a plate left on the coffee table overnight either.  I don't care if laundry piles up.  I don't care if the floor isn't swept every night, or the carpet vaccuumed every day.  My house is livable, it doesn't look like a museum and I'm ok with that.  I figure there are more important things than cleaning.  We don't live in squalor or filth - just a bit of clutter (no, not hoarders type clutter lol).  My house is very much like my mother's.  Not a surprise.

So here's the vent.  My mother-in-law walked into my house and wasn't there for even three minutes when she grabbed the dishcloth and started to wipe down counters and the sides of my portable dishwasher.  Seriously!  The dishwasher.  For the record, I actually scrubbed it down with a scrubbing pad and soap earlier - there wasn't a spot on it.  She scrubbed the countertops and said "just in case you need to cook there".  For the record, I had just washed the counters with soap about five minutes earlier.  She grabbed my broom and swept the floor... I had just washed it about 20 minutes before they showed up.  When they moved out the washer and dryer, I swept and scrubbed underneath, and then she went back 3 minutes later and swept it again - with the dirty broom on the wet floor.  So then it needed to be washed again.

It makes me mental.  I work like a dog to get the house into a respectable condition so that I don't feel like a giant failure as a wife/daughter-in-law and then all of this happens and I feel like complete shit about myself.  Nothing I do as far as my house is good enough.  She constantly makes "suggestions" as to what we should do with the house and what we need to fix or improve.  Nothing is ever good enough.

Sorry for the vent, I'm just so frustrated!

4 comments:

Jenny

Her cleanliness sounds a bit extreme, almost OCD-ish. Nevertheless, it's very insulting for her to do that in your home and I'd feel offended, too!

Katie

Oh, I know all about this. My MIL is what I like to call a "white glove". She can't just come over and relax, she has to be cleaning something. My house is much like yours, it sounds. Clean and livable, but lived in (especially since I'm carrying the quads). I need her to come over and clean LOL! Anywho, It used to really offend me, but I have come to realize that its just how she is and I have decided that I will enjoy having a cleaner house when she is here. If it makes her happy to come here and work then so be it.

MN

I like the way that Katie looks at it. I know I would find it frustrating to have someone "taking over" at my house, but if you can get beyond it, you're getting free help. It could also be one of the ways she shows love. Either way, good luck dealing with your feelings. :-)

JB

HOW frustrating!!! This sounds like my grandma; she cleans my kitchen every time she comes over, regardless of whether or not I just cleaned it. And she brings her own water to my house, because ours isn't good enough to drink. I really hope she has grandkids to leave footprints on her floor :)

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