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Sunday, 4 September 2011

Telling the Boss

How exactly does one go about something like that? How do I approach with my bosses that I'm going to be taking a lot of medical appointment days to get ultrasounds, etc for fertility treatments?

If this cycle goes 30-35 days, we're looking at the end of Sept, beginning of October when I have to go for follicle tracking ultrasounds. Right now the plan is a CD 10 ultrasound, and then following up every other day until they reach 20 mm. Since I have no idea when my body would normally ovulate (I'm pretty sure I haven't ovulated since I came off the pill), I don't know if that means that I"ll be good on CD 10, or if I'll have to wait until CD 18 or 20.

Normally something like this wouldn't be a big issue, but I'm living in the middle-of-nowhere. My doctors and the radiology clinic where the ultrasound gets done is 1.5 hours from work, so I have to take off either a morning or afternoon, or both if the appointment is in the middle of the day.

When I was diagnosed with the hyperplasia and was referred to the oncologist, I sat down with my principal and vice principal and told them that I had been diagnosed with a precancerous condition and that I wasn't sure what that would mean in terms of treatments yet - that I had to wait to see an oncologist. They were really supportive and when I had to rush out for treatments, they were supportive and concerned. I know that I will have their support in this.

But this just feels different. I'm not telling them that I'm sick. I'm telling them that I want to have a kid. I need to take a bunch of time off of work to have treatments to have a kid. I wonder if I'm underestimating my principal a bit however. I was thinking the other day about his family situation. He has a 28 year old daughter, and then twin sons who are 18. It makes me wonder if they didn't struggle through infertility, and perhaps even need treatments. Maybe he may be my biggest support through all of it. I don't know.

It just feels odd telling people about it. I have told my close friends, naturally. Some of them know more about my cycle than they ever wanted to know. But telling people you aren't really close to, people with whom you work and see every day in a professional setting - it's strange.

I don't know how to start the conversation.

I have a ton of sick days, the time isn't going to be a big issue, but it will mean booking subs and having sub plans - which I will gladly do. But it also interrupts the education of my students. I need to be in the classroom. My hope is that the radiology is open until 5:30 or 6:00 and I can get the last appointment of the day and not miss any work.... that's the hope, but I think it's probably a bit of a shallow hope.

Any suggestions on how to start this conversation? Anyone else been in this situation?

2 comments:

bunintheovenplease!

I didn't tell anyone what was going on Untill I had a Baby on board - to save all those unwanted comments and questions. Do you have to say what it's about? Can't you just say you have some medical issues which have to be followed through on, and unfortunately they you will have to miss a lot of work? Just remember you are as entitled to take time off work for this - as any other medical issue.

M

A lot depends on how comfortable you feel with your boss. Mine doesn't give me the warm fuzzies and there was no way I could have shared something so private with him. All I told him was that I had medical appointments and, because of the nature of the procedures I was having, some couldn't be booked until the day before. He didn't ask any questions because he has no right to.

If you don't feel comfortable telling him that you're undergoing fertility treatments and just tell him you'll be having frequent medical appointments, he may just assume it's related to your previous medical condition. However, that has the potential to lead to rumours, such as you having cancer and needing chemo/radiation...

It's a tough thing to do and I'm not sure how to advise you. I think if you trust him and feel comfortable with him, then it might be a good idea to share the whole story with him. But you are under no obligation to do so, so don't feel pressured to talk about something you're not ready to.

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