Sunday, 25 September 2011

Eggs and Duckies

I have been checking my BBT every day for the past six cycles. Each day I enter my BBT and CM into a program called Taking Charge of your Fertility. Every cycle I've seen the message "TCOYF has been unable to determine ovulation and it is likely that ovulation didn't occur this cycle". Every cycle I keep going and hope that it will be a successful one the next cycle.

About three days ago I experienced a half-degree spike in temperature. For the past two days it has stayed high. I should mention that I'm on CD 38 right now :S I went back through my previous five cycles and checked and my BBT always spikes a day or two before AF shows up. So, I expected to see AF rear its ugly face soon. Yesterday, I entered my BBT and up pops a message from TCOYF saying "Congratulations, your long luetal phase and temperature shift indicates that pregnancy is very likely". The calendar portion changed to bright orange and the word Pregnant. And on my temperature chart, a little nest with an egg appeared on CD 19, and on CD 38 a little yellow duckie.

I've been dying to see that egg and nest, and to see a duckie is a dream come true. But I wasn't absolutely sold that this was true. I know that the program says that if you have 18 days past ovulation, then it's nearly a guarantee that you're pregnant. However, that is supposed to be accompanied by higher temperatures after ovulation - and my temps this cycle were all low and it looks like a true annovulatory cycle to me... until the past few days when the temp spiked.

To top it all off, I've been REALLY emotional lately - the lastest episode of Grey's Anatomy nearly killed me I cried so hard. And just now I'm watching the season premiere of Sister Wives where they are talking about infertility (more on that the next time) and I'm bawling away. So, if pregnancy isn't the culprit, then PMS is being a total bitch in the emotions area this month!

So what's a girl to do. Well, I tried not to think about it too much, and I went out and bought a pregnancy test yesterday. I waited until I got home from my inlaws this afternoon to take it. I really didn't want to take the test there and then find out it was positive and have to share with them right away. Maybe that's selfish, but if it turns out positive I wanted it to be about me and my husband and our baby...just us, at least for a few days. Just enjoy it, our little secret.

So, we got home and I dodged into the bathroom.

Unfortunately, it came out negative. :(

I don't know if it's too early to be positive, or if I should just take that negative as a for-sure negative. I'm thinking that I'll wait another week and if there is no AF, then I'll take another test.

It's so frustrating. I just want this cycle to be done already. Either I need to be pregnant or have AF show up. The waiting is SO frustrating. When you are trying to conceive and have to wait for the start of the cycle, waiting a mere 28 days is torture. I'm at 38 days and could go much longer than that. My longest cycle has been 45 days. So, another week and hopefully I will know more than I do right now.

So for now, the duckies will have to wait



Please do us both a favor and STOP reading my blog. Your judgmental comments are not welcomed and will be deleted from now on.


Are you fucking kidding me?? You come to my blog and tell me to leave you alone. Grow up and move on. I am not the enemy, regardless of what you think. Simply because I am married you have an instant hatred for me - grow up - not everyone's life turns out the same way and you have no right to be angry at me because I lucked out and found someone. Your hatred toward others is overwhelming and I don't think that I've read anything so negative as what you post on a regular basis. If you want nothing to do with me, then why the hell do you come here and post to my blog? What you posted on yours isn't enough? You want to spread the negativity here. Fine? Go for it. I'm a big girl. I can take it. I've had a miserable week and I don't need your fucking bullshit to compound that.

Go and enjoy your life (which you seem to hate every aspect of by the way). I wish you the best. I hope that you have you a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby (or by wishing you that am I crossing some sort of line??).

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