Bad but not horrific

So a bit of an update:

I went in on Monday and had my biopsy done. That was so very fun :S I sat all day getting myself worked up about it and how much it would hurt. This is biopsy number 4, so I'm kinda getting to be a pro at it and figure that I know what to expect by now. My appointment was at 3:45.

I got to the office at 3:30 and sat and waited... and waited... and waited.... you get the picture.

It was SOOOO hot in there. Good lord, given that pregnant women are already a furnace, is it necessary to crank the heat that much? AND, the only seat available was across from the baby wall of fame. I was seated between two pregnant women and near a woman with a newborn... pure torture. Why can't offices such as this have a separate waiting area for those of us dealing with infertility.

I tried very hard to think of those women as positives... as my husband put it, they are "walking advertisements for the doctor's success". uh-huh. I figure that since in our province, the average woman doesn't see an OB/GYN for pregnancy (just goes to her GP), that anyone seeing Dr. B must be either a former infertile, or having a difficult pregnancy. I convinced myself of this to stop all the self-loathing and bits of hatred that I was feeling toward those women. I know that I shouldn't feel it, but I do - perhaps hatred is the wrong word... jealousy definitely.

So, after getting myself all worked up, sitting in a hot room, and dealing with the stress of the other clientele, I was feeling my blood pressure rising. To top it off, I took some Ponstan (Mefinamic Acid) to help with the pain. It's a painkiller that I was given years ago for cramps when no amount of Tylenol would work and we discovered my allergy to Advil. I ran out years ago - basically when I went off the pill, the cramping stopped. But, a close friend of mine has a prescription for it because she has endometriosis quite badly. She gladly gave me half a bottle. I don't like to share medication, but I made an exception at this point, knowing that I wouldn't be able to get back to my GP before going for the appointment.

So, I had taken 2 capsules before my appointment. I should mention that these also tend to increase blood pressure in most people for some reason. At 4:30, I am called in and the nurse wants to take my blood pressure. I warned her it would be bad. I told her that usually I am well within normal range, but the heat, stress, and meds have made it rise. She took it and wouldn't even tell me what it said - just said "It's not good". Then she had me lay down and put a cool cloth on my forehead and neck to help cool me down and relax. She took my blood pressure a couple minutes later and it was still high.

I should mention too that I think the very process of taking the BP is enough to make mine rise. It hurts. It has always hurt. There are times I come out of it with bruises... seriously!

The second reading was still not good, but the doctor wanted to proceed and said I should be fine.

I must say that this was the quickest that I have ever had a biopsy. She was in and out in probably 3 minutes flat. The catheter went in quickly - it hurt like hell, but it went in quick. The biopsy itself sucked a LOT. And she took two samples, so just when I thought it was done, she went back for more. I nearly passed out at that one. Then it was over. I laid there for a couple of minutes, deep breathing. Then Dr. B helped me up and said that my results would be ready in a couple of weeks and she'd call me with them.

The nurse came in a couple minutes later to make sure I was ok - and asked me again before I left. They really are very nice there.

I was expecting horrible things afterward. I have always cramped horribly for two days after each one. I was ready to take Tuesday off of work. But, after about 10 minutes, I had no cramping at all. By the time I got to Costco to do some shopping, I was done cramping.. and had none after that at all. I spotted through until this morning, but that's it.

So, I guess it wasn't as completely horrifying as I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong - the biopsy sucked! It really sucked! But at least there was no residual cramping. I just hope that's a good sign.

This may be the hardest two week wait ever! And, in the end, the worst result could be a lot more devastating than a negative pregnancy test.