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Saturday, 11 February 2012

The Club

As all infertiles know, there is a club out there that we just can't seem to get into... the parenthood club. It is a club that we try so hard to get into, but it's not as easy as just buying a ticket. It seems that everyone around us gets to walk in without trouble, and all we want is a chance to look in the window, but it is like that velvet rope just won't budge.

Last night we went out for supper. We had had a long day at work and just wanted a nice supper - somewhere that we could relax but nothing too fancy - we were wearing jeans afterall. We went to a place that is known for a family atmosphere - perhaps this was our first mistake.

We got seated a table next to a family with a child about 5 years old. There were three adults and just the one child at the table. Things were fine for a few minutes, and then the child decided that she didn't want the food that she had asked for. It turned into a full out temper tantrum. So what did the adults do about it? Absolutely nothing. No, wait, scratch that, they laughed at it. They did nothing at all about it.

Now, don't get me wrong, I understand the concept of ignoring a temper tantrum. I really do. I've used the technique a number of times with children in my care. However, ignoring a temper tantrum while the rest of the restaurant has to listen to it... that's just not right. No matter how many evil glares other people gave the parents, they just smiled and laughed and ordered dessert.

I know it's old school parenting, but when I was that age, if I would have pulled that shit, my parents would have taken me outside to cool down and have a little talk with me. Sometimes that would result in the rest of the meal being spent sitting in the car, or us just going home. But not in this case. Apparently these parents feel that their enjoyment is more important, and they are entitled to do and act however they want... just because they have kids.

While sitting at the table, listening to this insanity, I posted to FB how annoyed I was. I got some comments and likes - all in agreement with me, and then this...

"being a parent is a hard job. we all do the best we can. so sorry if it's offensive to those who are childless".

I nearly blew a gasket. How dare she!! HOW FUCKING DARE SHE!!!!

Let me give you some background. This is a girl I went to highschool with. I grew up in a small town, so there were only 8 people in my grad class. A few years ago, all of my grad class started to add me - and I let them. I'm not sure why I let them given that I never really liked most of them and many of them were bitches to me all throughout school. This particular person was a snob of the greatest proportions. She had her nose stuck in the air and thought that she was better than EVERYONE else. At a wedding of one of our classmates, she met her husband. Well, maybe met is the wrong word here. Town gossip had it that she met and hooked up with him and didn't even know his last name until a week later. But it was ok - he was from the city. *insert eye roll here*

Now she's a mother of two who does not work outside the house, but thinks that she is better than everyone else.

Anyway, needless to say, this comment stung me. I get really pissed off when people think that they are better than me just because they managed to pop a person out of their va-jay-jay. IF is not something that people choose, and rubbing your ability to procreate in the face of another is a really low thing to do. Now, I may be wrong, she might be sincere in her comments, but I doubt it. What really got me about all of this was that the other commenters and likes were from people who have kids - among them 8 kids and a grandchild.

So, yes, I couldn't let it go. I responded with this....

"Parenting might be a tough job but it doesn't entitle people to a free ride on being rude. If a child isn't capable of behaving in public then perhaps parents should think twice about where they are taking them and perhaps disciplining them or at least acknowledging that their behavior is inappropriate rather than laughing about it. And for the record it is not just childless people who get annoyed by this - all the people who have agreed or commented have children. And the idea that some people think that being a parent entitles them to act poorly or gives them more rights than someone without children is what is really offensive!"

perhaps a little harsh, but I'm so tired of those in the club sticking their tongues out and those of us on the outside and complaining that WE are too sensitive.

Parenting is a tough job, I'm not denying that. Hell, just being a parental figure is a tough job, forget the 24/7 of actual parenting. But don't for one fucking second complain to me that it's too tough and act like you deserve a break on common courtesy because you popped out a human. Being a parent doesn't make you infallible, and it doesn't mean you get a free pass.

1 comments:

M

Well said.

Even if I was fortunate enough to have children, I'd be annoyed by parents who do nothing to teach their children how to behave like proper human beings. And if I ever do have a child, I will NOT sit back and laugh if they behave the way that child in the restaurant did.

I kind of want to smack your Facebook friend!

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