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Friday, 19 August 2011

45

45.

That's how long my last cycle lasted.

This morning around 2 am I noticed AF had arrived. Very light, but according to the ob, any "spot, smudge, smear, drop" counts as the first day of the cycle. She was very clear that if it happened at 11:59:59, then that was CD 1, if it happened at 12:00:00 then you count the new day as your cycle. The woman was actually quite put off that women come to her and say "I spot for two or three days prior to my period"... she said that that is your period. Um, ok.

So, I guess that makes this CD 1 and we start all over again.

I'm not going to lie. I was kinda hoping a bit that the long cycle was due to a pregnancy that just wasn't showing up... but honestly I knew that it wasn't. I didn't have this horrible let down when I saw the blood... I actually said "oh, finally!!".

You know, if I wasn't wanting to get pregnant, I would be thrilled with a long cycle - who doesn't want fewer days of AF in a year?

So, we're back to the beginning.

In a way it's good that it waited. I was to schedule an HSG at the next cycle (for day 7-9), but my ob's office was closed until Monday, so if I would have started my cycle a week ago when I thought it was coming, I would have had to wait until the next cycle to have the HSG done. This way, I can call them on Monday when they open and get it scheduled for next Friday.

Of course, I'm going to freak out all week about having it. I'm not good with pain. I'm terrified of pain. Pain meds don't work well on me. I have a very low tolerance for pain.

People have said to me "well, how are you going to have a baby then". Drugs baby... drugs.

I'm not one of those women who thinks that she needs to be a hero. I figure if I've carried that baby for nearly 10 months and I am going to raise it and would be willing to put my life on the line to protect it, I don't need to go through endless pain to have it. My mother and grandmother both had long long long labours (my mom was about 48 hours with me before they gave her a C-section, and my gramma told me her labour with my mom was about 50 hours). So I'm not thinking that I'll survive the pain that long. I figure that drugs were created for a reason. Thousands of babies are born everyday when the mothers have drugs and they are fine. I trust my doctors and I know that I would be of no use to anyone if I'm in pain - I basically shut down.

So, I figure that the pain of labour is a bit different than all of this. Granted I don't know how painful an HSG is, but I'm hearing a variety of reports. I read one woman's account that it wasn't painful at all, and then she went on to say that her biopsy wasn't painful either. LORD!! my biopsies have been the most painful things that I have ever encountered... excruciating. I think that the people in the waiting room of my ob's office thought I was being tortured. I was crying so hard that I hyperventilated and my contact lense slid under my eyelid (just to make it all worse). I really hope the HSG isn't going to be that bad, but I'm not taking a chance. I'm taking some Ketorolac (I think it's called Tordol in some places) before I go in... it might help to dull the pain... probably not, but it's worth a try. Advil (which I'm allergic to) and Tylenol didn't help with the biopsies, so it's time to bring out the big guns.

4 comments:

Jess

Good luck with your HSG! Everyone is different--some women don't have any discomfort at all (lucky ducks) and others have what feels like intense pressure and cramping (that was me), and then there's everything in between. The advice I was given was to make sure an RE does the procedure, not a radiologist. No offense to radiologists, but they don't do that particular procedure on a regular basis. REs do. I had to have two HSGs and the first was a radiologist (very painful, and wrong--the balloon wasn't in the right place so it made it look like both tubes were blocked, which was traumatic to say the least) and the second was my RE (much more gentle experience, faster, and no blockage found although my right tube took some time and pressure to pass the dye so I think there was some crud lodged in there). If you can request it, get an RE to do it. You won't be sorry! The good thing is that the pain if you have it doesn't last forever--I was crampy for a few hours and that was it. Then you can check it off your list and add it to your data file, hopefully never to repeat again. :) Good luck, and I'm with you on the pain meds! If it's available and not harmful, why torture yourself? It's the wonders of technology...

Willow

I truly didn't find the HSG too bad--some cramping, but not bad--and I tend to have the worst possible reaction to everything! Hoping it's not too bad for you either--don't want you having to dread it!

peg

Thanks for the feedback ladies... I'm trying really hard not to be scared and planning on pain, but I've just not had much luck with any of these procedures not hurting. I have to call the Ob's office in the morning to get them to set up the appointment for the end of the week.

Oh, Jess - it will be my OB doing the procedure. I haven't been referred to an RE (yet) but the OB is wonderful - she did my first biopsy and it was the least painful by far... she's very sympathetic and gentle, so that's a bonus.

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