Thursday, 4 August 2011

I'm a Roller Coaster Baby.

I hate roller coasters. Well, ok, in all honesty I've never been on a roller coaster, but they look scary. I don't do so well with rides. I get dizzy. I get sick. It's not pretty. It's rather humiliating and disgusting. So the thought of going up and down that quickly for fun... no thanks. I get car sick just going up and down the hills of the valleys here, and I live on the prairies.

The last week or so has been a veritable roller coaster of temperatures for me, and frankly, I can say that this coaster holds true to what I would expect the real ones to be like. I hate it. Over the past week my temps have gone up and down so fast that it would make your head spin. Four days ago - 36.09. Three days ago - 36.65. Yesterday - 35.91. Today - 36. 61. Up, down, up, down, repeat until nauseous. Normally I would be happy about high temps this late in my cycle (I'm on CD 31), but with the up and down I'm thinking that it's very unlikely that a pregnancy could survive such extremes. Kind of like living in this province, my body temp has taken up a pact with Mother Nature and neither can make up their minds.

That brings me to the next thing... I'm on CD 31... well, I guess since it's after midnight, technically it's CD 32, but whatever. No sign of impending AF. No PMS, no spotting, nada. Last month my cycle was 36 days, so maybe I've just gone into longer cycles since the acupuncture. Again, I would think it's because I"m pregnant, but I've pretty much given up hope of that. The only thing that would lend itself symptom-wise to pregnancy is this nagging headache that I"ve had for the past two weeks... it's like a pressure headache. Small doses of Tylenol have made me functional, but it was pretty bad today.

I had another chiro and acupuncture appointment today. Ran into the wife of a friend of my husband. She is seeing the same acupuncturist. I knew she went to the clinic, but I didn't know if she saw the same person. When I went in for my appointment, the acupuncturist said - oh you know her? I explained the friendship, and she said - yeah, it's funny when you specialise in certain things how many people end up knowing each other or referring each other. She specialises in fertility...

I know that these two want to have children, but we've never had the talk about when or if they are planning on starting (or have been trying). I don't feel that I have that kind of relationship with her yet, and the guys just don't talk about that stuff. She's older than her husband (she's about 38) so I'm pretty sure they are trying already, without luck obviously. I want to ask her, but I don't want to put her on the spot or anything. I keep thinking that maybe knowing that she's not the only one out there might make her feel better if she's struggling with it...but like I said, we're not that close. I'll have to think about it.

I got a call from the OB/GYN that I was supposed to see at the end of this month. She is at the hospital that day and needed to move my appointment... instead of bumping it like I thought they would do, I got pushed up... I see her next Wednesday (10th). I'm excited but freaked out at the same time. My big hope is that she just puts me on Clomid and that will allow me to ovulate and everything else will just go as it's supposed to. My biggest fear is that there is something much more sinister going on and she's not going to be able to help me.

I was talking to my gramma the other day about all of this. It may sound strange to do that, but gramma went through four years of trying before she conceived my mother and then had 15 years of unexplained infertility afterward before they stopped trying for a second one. Gramma told me about this when I broke down one day and told her about the hyperplasia and specialists and procedures, etc. She had never told anyone about it... not even my mother, so I felt like we connected on a different level. Anyway, I was talking to her and said that IVF wasn't an option - the money wasn't there. She reminded me that my inlaws are filthy rich and would probably gladly put down the money for IVF treatments. She's right. I never thought of it, and I don't really want to ask, but if it comes to that as the only option, then I think perhaps a loan from them would be the best recourse. We'll see.

Anyway, it's been a crazy couple of days - lots of running around. Tomorrow it's back to the school to keep setting up my classroom, and then Saturday into the big city to pick up the inlaws from the airport. The only people in the world who think it's a good idea to go to Arizona in the summer, during the only three weeks of warm weather we have. Next week is the specialist appointment, and then Thursday we pick up my eight-year-old nephew to keep him for a few days. The school year is just around the corner....

Where did summer go?



I think I've joined you on that roller coaster this month. My temps have been all over the place while I've been on vacation and I don't think I have ovulated - or will ovulate - this month. *sigh* Stupid body.

I agree with your grandma that you should talk to Mark's parents about lending you the money for IVF, if it comes to that. I'm sure they'd love grandchildren and would do whatever they can to help you guys out.

I hope the appointment goes well next week!

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