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Wednesday, 19 October 2011

The bitch is back

WARNING: This post contains copious quantities of bitchiness. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Yeah, I don't know if it was the Clomid, or just my personality coming through, or the lack of sleep, or the lack of caffeine throughout the day, but I was a total bitch... ALL DAY!!

I don't know why. I woke up late and the day went from there... straight downhill.

Last night, about 2 am, my husband grabbed his pillows and tucked me in, and I saw him walking out of the room. Apparently I was having a series of bad dreams or something because I was practically yelling in my dreams. That might explain why I was so tired!

Anyway, my day started out with the class that I"m not fond of. They need hand-holding to the greatest extent and it bugs me - I don't want to teach that age group. I try hard to stay positive with them, but then end up grumpy after my class is over :( Most of my classes went pretty well all day, but at breaks it was a bit of a mess. The majority of my coworkers are stressed and seem to need a break. How long til the next long weekend? Wait... we just had one! damn!

After school was a volleyball game. One of my players gave me attitude on the court, and then expected me to give her full playing time. When she didn't get it, she stormed out and decided that she didn't need to tell me that she was going home. She said that I was "harshing her positivity". Funny how the rest of the team had no problem with it. The guy we had reffing was all sorts of fun. He calls tough, which is ok, but then after each game he tells me what my girls did wrong... in detail. Today it was even that I wasn't sitting in the right place on the bench! COME ON!! We're a high school team - we're not the pros. Then he claims that he's just "educating". Well he can take his education and... oh never mind.

So I ended up coming home in a really pissy mood! I'm exhausted and need to sleep, but I have to be up and on the road by 7 tomorrow so that I can spend the day at a PD. Then Friday is a division wide PD day, and then Friday night another volleyball tournament, followed by all day Saturday at the same tournament. Long days.

The upside... on Sunday I'm going to a bridal show with one of my closest friends!! I'm so looking forward to this - focusing on someone's joy and happiness, and to get all excited about he wedding stuff. It should be a fun girl's day. This is a friend who is one of the only people I know in real life who truly understands the IF journey that I've been on. It's nice not having to keep things to myself or be secretive or worry about whether I can broach the subject with her - it's freeing.

2 comments:

M

It could definitely be the clomid. A LOT of women say they turn into a raging bitch on it. And I'm sure all the other stress on top of that doesn't help. Don't be too hard on yourself about it.

Are you feeling any other side effects so far?

peg

nothing too major. Can't sleep well, but it's probably because of all the extra stress and too many long hours. I have had some mild cramps on and off but nothing major. I felt kinda spacey at times, but again, might just be lack of sleep.

I have no appetite either...doesn't stop me from eating, but I have no desire to eat. And right now I think that I"m falling back into depression quickly - I'm pretty sure it's the medication that's doing that... I'm prone to depression after all.

But yeah, it's hard to say if the meds caused the bitchiness or not - my bitch switch is often stuck on 8 or 9, so a jump to 10 isn't too big.

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