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Monday, 10 October 2011

Thankful thankful thankful

Today is Thanksgiving in Canada... I realised that I have been doing a lot of complaining on my blog and in real life about everything. Infertility has smacked me around for 29 months now, and sometimes it's all that I think about. Often it's all that I can think about. It influences everything that I do sometimes and it can influence my mood at any given moment. My life is so occupied with checking temps and CM and just the thoughts that come along with IF that I often find it hard to focus on the good things.

So, in honour of Thanksgiving, I give you a list of all the things that I'm thankful for today:

* my parents - my parents love me dearly and would do anything for me, and even though my mother often makes me crazy, I know she loves me. My father is an amazing man who I have learned so much from

* my husband - we haven't always had smooth sailing, but I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else. It took a while for us to find each other, but I wouldn't have spent the last six years with anyone else, and I can't imagine going through this IF journey with anyone else by my side

* my brother/family - my brother is a great guy. He can be an ass sometimes, but he's usually amazing. His wife is one of my best friends and I would give my life for his kids. They make me thankful and remind me of how wonderful the world is when viewed through a child's eyes.

* my grandmother - my grandmother is a great woman. She's been through so much and has taught me so much. She's been so supportive through the whole journey and I think that the IF has bonded us (I found out that she went through more than 10 years of IF after having my mom).

* my friends - my friends are amazing. I don't have a huge circle of friends, but the ones I have are wonderful, amazing, strong people. They know when to tell me to suck it up, and they know when to cry with me. I couldnt' get through it all without them.

* my job - I have been to hell and back with my job. I am currently in a job that I love and even though it tires me out, I love going there every day. I have amazing bosses and my coworkers are phenomenal. The kids I work with renew my faith in teenagers and make me proud to know them on a daily basis. Plus, in a time when so many people are struggling to find work, I have a stable, guaranteed job for as long as I want it.

* my house - i am not homeless. I have a warm, safe home to live in. I don't have to worry about violence in my community. I don't have to worry about natural disasters destroying everything that I have worked for. I know that I have a warm place to lay my head each night.

* my pets - as much as they make me crazy some days (I should blog about my bad kitten some time) but they are always there with purrs and cuddles to make me smile if I'm having a bad day. They never judge and just want to love.

* my health - especially after the last year of the pre-cancer scare, and all the issues with the IF, I am very thankful that I have my health to the degree that I do. While I know, I definitely know, that IF is a health issue, when you take that away, I'm healthy otherwise and if I didn't want children so damned bad, I could live my life happily and healthily. For now, I'm thankful that I have the good health that I do and that I'm over the hyperplasia and didn't have to have a hysterectomy following the diagnosis.

* free healthcare - I know this is a weird one to add to a thankful list, but after all of the health issues and the tests and appointments that I've had surrounding the IF, I can't imagine how this would all play out for me if I had to pay for everything or worry about the cost of seeing a doctor or having a test done. Sure, our healthcare system in this province is not perfect, but I don't have to worry that money is going to come between me and getting the proper care that I need.

I know that often we forget to be thankful for what is really important - especially when we face the everyday reality that IF brings. I felt that I needed to make a list, particularly on Thanksgiving, to remind myself that I do have things to be thankful for and that not everything is horrible... yes, IF is overtaking my current reality, but it's not everything in my life. I just hope that next year, when I make a list, I can add pregnancy to that.

1 comments:

MN

It's nice to take time to remember the good parts of our lives. It is so easy to just focus on the painful parts. I'm glad you do have so much (and envy you the free medical care) to offset the difficult parts. Happy Thanksgiving!

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