Friday, 23 March 2012

Time to be judgy...

Yes, I teach English. Yes, I just used the word judgy. No, I don't care that it's completely incorrect. My students laugh at me all the time because I make up words - but at least I make it clear that I'm making them up.

So, here is what I'm judgy about today.

I am sure that parenting is hard work. And I know that kids do certain things in their own time. And I'm sure that if I was a parent I might think differently about this. And I'm sure that parents out there would dismiss this as the ramblings of someone who just doesn't know.

I figure that this probably falls under the category of mind your own business, but right now I don't care.

I spent the day at a convention, and at this convention, it seems that I must have been at the table where all pregnant women were required to walk by. It was painful! But I digress.

I hate it when people tell me what I should be doing to conceive. When they give me the unsolicited advice it makes me crazy, but I'm going to do the same to parents out there... but at least I'm doing so with full awareness...

ADVICE: if you child can ask for their bottle or soother, they are too old to have it!!!

We went to Walmart to stock up on some stuff after the convention. At the next cashier was a couple with a young child. The boy was old enough for them to allow him to wander around then ends of the tills without holding his hand... in a public place... with a bunch of strangers... but that's another issue altogether. All of a sudden the boy starts screaming - very clearly I might add - where's my baby bottle? where's my baby bottle? The woman tells him "just wait, when mommy's done paying, I'll give you your baba".

Ok, so I detest when parents use baby language with children. I fully feel that it is part of the reason why there are so many language and speech issues with children these days (the other reason is television as the babysitter, but that's another post). If you child can say bottle clearly, then you can say bottle clearly. Don't keep calling it a baba... and why the hell were you calling it that in the first place? Do people realise how ridiculous they sound and look when they use baby terms? It just really annoys me. Maybe it's just me??

Anyway, this child kept screaming for his "baby bottle". Hell, even the kid knew that it was for babies! The cashier at my till looked over, then looked back at us and rolled her eyes. She said "you have no idea how many of those we see every day".

Seriously - things that are meant for babies should be reserved for babies. If they are old enough to ask for it by name, they are too old to have it. That goes for diapers too - if they can walk up to you and say "I need my diaper changed", then chances are that they should be using the toilet. And yes, I have heard this one said by a three year old in the past.

So there you go - my rant for the day. Again, I realise that parenting is hard, and I hope that one day I get to face those difficult moments of taking away the bottle, but you can quote me on this... my child will not be demanding, clearly, a baby bottle when they are that age!



I work in child care and there are more and more children turning up to kindergarten at 3/4 who are not potty trained yet, and teachers are having to do that job. Half of them cant use a cup or dress themselves either. It is scary.


I totaly agree with you.

Toni Rapp

Thank you for the sweet comment on my blog. I look forward to catching up on your journey :)


I totally agree! I have a 3 year old (he is not potty trained yet, sorry.) Anyways, at 1 the bottle went away, he didn't like it, but too bad! At 2 the pacifier went away, he was old enough to understand that it was time. He just turned 3 and knows he should be pooping in the potty, but given my everlasting cycle and the constant running back and forth from the RE I haven't had a solid week or even 2 or 3 days in a row to work on the training...its on my to do list as soon as possible!

I also have an issue with kids who are rude and demanding. My 3 year old says please and thank you (almost always), and everyone comments on how well behaved and polite he is called discipline! HELLO!

Sorry...just added to your rant, but as a parent, I am telling you that you are correct!


I agree. To me, this is lazy parenting. The parents don't want to deal with the unpleasantness of having to take away the beloved bottle or pacifier, so they don't. Theirs are the kids that grow up getting everything they demand and they develop a sense of entitlement. I deal with the adult result of this on a daily basis and it makes my soul sad.


I totally get that with IF your life is crazy and I don't blame you for not having your child potty trained. When I said that, please understand that I know that there are special cases. It's when the child just refuses and the parent is too lazy. My SIL was one of those. My nephew was over three and she just said "well, he'll do it when he's ready"... um, no he won't. right now you make it easy. Don't get me wrong, she's a great mother, that just bugged me.

I agree with you completely on discipline! It shouldn't be a shock when children are polite... it should be commonplace. Children need to learn manners. If I would have pulled some of the stuff that kids are pulling in public today, I would have never seen a store or restaurant for years!


When I was working as kindergarten teacher, we had a 5 year old who was still in diapers. The mother walked in on the first day and said "here is his diaper bag, you'll have to change him". THank god that I was the intern and that my supervising teacher was there. She took one look at the mother and said "does he have a medical condition?". The mother said "no". So the teacher replied with "then YOU will have to change him, and don't think that you're going to let him stink up my room in a shitty diaper. It is not in my job description to change diapers, and if there is no medical condition, then you need to potty train him. I expect that you will check in every hour to find out if he needs changing, and will be at the school within 15 minutes after I call. If you can't manage that, then your child is not welcome in my class.". Funny, the boy was potty trained within three days. :)


I completely agree that if a child can completely say the words, he or she is probably too old for the requested object. I hate seeing kids running around with things too young for them. I know that at our school's daycare, bottles aren't allowed after one and pacifiers after infancy are only allowed at nap and only through two. As for diapers, I have a whole other rant for that.... My youngest nephew for at least four (and probably 80 pounds) before he was potty-trained. My SIL just couldn't be bothered. More parents need to remember that they are doing their kids a disservice. I see the spoiled, undisciplined kids in my classroom every day. :-(


I agree with your post. Parents seem to be getting lazier with teaching and training their children. I know we are all busy, but raising your child is a priority.


I love this post, probably because I agree with it. My sister is a parent and feels this way too, so its not just us wanna-be-mommies!

Casey B


I'm a first time visitor through ICLW, and agree completely with the point you're making. :) Children who can clearly ask for things such as bottles should not be using them, exactly.

Best wishes,


< target="new">Navigating Cyberloss


Hi from ICLW!

I dealt with primary IF and now secondary and I agree. We had our dd off a bottle by 11 months, and while she's still on a sippy at 20 months we keep trying regular cups.

I look forward to learning about your journey!


I agree. I despair of potty training our clearly ready 22 month old daughter because discipline just won't be maintained when she is with her birth mother. Her 4 year old half brother is still in diapers due to parental disinterest. Heck, we get her back in HIS way too big diapers half the time. Sorry for ranting!

Thank you for your kind words on my post.


I completely agree with all of this! So frustrating to see it happening! If I were a teacher, I'd have a hard time not expressing my opinions to "those" mothers who are too busy or lazy to spend the necessary time actually parenting their toddlers.

And hey...It's your blog, so you can make up words and be judgy all you want:) I do it all the time on my blog! Thanks for stopping by this weekend, by the way. Looking forward to keeping up with your journey.


Hi from ICLW! I'm a mother through adoption and I totally agree with you. I was at Disney World the other day and saw a kid who looked like she was at least 5 years old in a stroller drinking out of a baby bottle. With a nipple. For real. I gagged. My daughter is 15 months old and does not use bottles any more and hasn't for I don't know, several months - sippy cups and sports bottles, yes. Bottles, no. Ridiculousness.

And as far as the pregnant bellies are concerned, the universe decided to send me daily emails from randomly starting last week. Why is completely beyond me... Infertiles must have some giant magnet on us attracting unwanted attention from fertiles. I don't get it.

I'll spare you my thoughts on a majority of parents in Walmart. Suffice it to say they aren't pretty thoughts.

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